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Writer's pictureCatherine Christie

Passing From Love to Being Loving

By Catherine Christie, Couples Counsellor, Relationship Coach & Author





Over the years, as a couples counsellor and relationship coach, I've had the privilege of working with couples from all walks of life, helping them navigate the often tricky terrain of love and commitment. Through my private practice and research, I've come to realise a profound truth: love is not just a feeling; it's a choice, a way of being. This insight inspired me to explore the journey of how we move from "falling in love" to being loving—a shift that transforms relationships.


At the start of a relationship, love can feel like a whirlwind, exciting and all-consuming. But as time passes, this initial rush of emotions inevitably fades, and many couples start to question whether their love is fading too. The good news? It doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, this is where the real work—and beauty—of a relationship begins.


Being loving is about intentionality. It means making small daily choices to nurture your partner, showing empathy, patience, and understanding even when things are hard. It’s about recognizing that love is not just a passive feeling but an active commitment to support your partner and relationship, especially during tough times.


In my practice, I often remind couples that true intimacy doesn’t just happen; it’s cultivated through consistent acts of kindness and communication. Foreplay, as I often say, begins long before the bedroom—it starts with an affectionate touch in the morning, a thoughtful gesture in the afternoon, or a kind word when your partner is feeling down. Shifting your focus from "Do I feel in love today?" to "How can I be loving today?" can make a world of difference in creating a deeply fulfilling connection.


This shift from being in love to being loving is a powerful transition that strengthens the foundation of any relationship. It may not always be easy, but the rewards are profound—a bond that is resilient, intimate, and capable of weathering life’s storms together.

If you’re ready to explore this journey further, I invite you to take the next step toward a more loving, connected partnership. There isnt a person or couple in the world who wouldnt benefit from relationship counselling, coaching and education. I offer a 4 session pack which includes an advanced relationship health test(cutting edge software,) as well as a free copy of my book which launching on Amazon Kindle soon! Heal Your Relationship - "The Grass Isn't Usually Greener, It's Astro-Turf."


#RelationshipAdvice#BeLovingNotJustInLove#CouplesCounsellingTips#HealthyRelationships#EmotionalIntimacy

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