In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to forget one of the most essential aspects of maintaining a healthy relationship: playfulness. As a couples counsellor based in Subiaco, Perth, I see this often—couples bogged down by the stress of daily life, forgetting that joy, laughter, and play are not just nice-to-haves but essentials for a thriving relationship.
When was the last time you laughed until your sides ached with your partner? Or spontaneously engaged in something light-hearted, playful, or downright silly together? For many couples, this part of the relationship can get lost under the weight of responsibilities, conflicts, and the seriousness of adult life.
Why Playfulness Matters in Relationships
Humour and playfulness aren’t just about having fun—they are essential ingredients in creating a strong emotional bond. Think about the early stages of your relationship. Chances are, there was a lot of laughter, teasing, and light banter that helped you connect. Over time, as you navigate through life’s challenges, it’s common for these moments of play to decrease. However, without them, relationships can become heavy, overly serious, and even strained.
Playfulness is a natural stress reliever. When you engage in playful behaviour, it allows both partners to relax and momentarily escape from the pressures of life. It also creates a safe space where vulnerability can flourish. For example, a simple inside joke or a playful nudge can remind both partners of their shared connection, helping to ease tensions after a disagreement or during difficult times.
In couples counselling, I often remind people that humour and joy are like emotional glue—they bind us to each other. Laughter reduces stress and promotes positive feelings, helping us build resilience in our relationships. It reminds us that even in difficult times, there can still be moments of joy.
Rediscovering Your Sense of Play
One of the reasons couples lose their playfulness is because they become overly focused on responsibilities—whether it’s work, raising kids, managing finances, or other life pressures. But relationships need balance, and joy and laughter provide that balance. Imagine trying to carry a heavy load without ever taking a moment to rest; eventually, the weight becomes unbearable. Playfulness acts as a release valve for that weight, giving couples space to connect without the heaviness of everyday life.
So, how do you rediscover your playful side? It starts with intention. You don’t need to plan extravagant dates or trips (although those are great, too). Sometimes, the simplest things can have the most profound impact. Here are a few ways to bring more play into your relationship:
• Spontaneous dance parties: Put on your favourite song and dance around the living room together.
• Tease and banter: Don’t be afraid to engage in light, playful teasing that brings out a smile.
• Try something new together: Whether it’s a board game, cooking a meal, or trying a new sport, doing something unfamiliar can lead to laughter and shared fun.
• Inside jokes: Revisit old jokes or create new ones that only the two of you understand. These shared moments are like emotional treasures that bond you closer together.
The Serious Benefits of Being Playful
Research backs up the idea that play is fundamental to healthy relationships. Couples who regularly laugh together tend to have stronger bonds and report higher levels of satisfaction. In fact, some studies suggest that couples who engage in playful activities and humour are better at resolving conflicts and tend to have longer-lasting, more fulfilling relationships.
At the heart of it, playfulness fosters a sense of togetherness. It’s a reminder that amidst life’s challenges, you and your partner are a team. You’re not just managing the stresses of life together; you’re also creating memories filled with joy, laughter, and love.
So, if you’ve forgotten how to be playful, take this as your gentle reminder: your relationship needs it. Laughter isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. Don’t wait for the perfect moment—create it. Surprise your partner with something lighthearted today, and let the laughter flow.
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